Credit Strings

// Altar
	private function getItemCreditsText() {
		switch ($this->item) {
			case Item::get('L1Sword'):
			case Item::get('L1SwordAndShield'):
				return "the plastic sword";	// 17 and the plastic sword
			case Item::get('L2Sword'):
			case Item::get('MasterSword'):
				return "and the master sword";	// 20 
			case Item::get('L3Sword'):
				return "the tempered sword";	// 18 and the tempered sword
			case Item::get('L4Sword'):
				return "and the butter sword";	// 20 
			case Item::get('BlueShield'):
				return "the useless shield";	// 18 and the useless shield
			case Item::get('RedShield'):
				return "near-useless shield";	// 19 the near-useless shield
			case Item::get('MirrorShield'):
				return "and the ditto shield";	// 20 
			case Item::get('FireRod'):
				return "and the rage rod";	// 16 
			case Item::get('IceRod'):
				return "and the freeze ray";	// 18 
			case Item::get('Hammer'):
				return "and m c hammer";	// 14 
			case Item::get('Hookshot'):
				return "and the tickle beam";	// 19 
			case Item::get('Bow'):
			case Item::get('BowAndArrows'):
			case Item::get('BowAndSilverArrows'):
				return "the stick and twine";	// 19 and the stick and twine
			case Item::get('Boomerang'):
				return "the backlash stick";	// 18 and the backlash stick
			case Item::get('RedBoomerang'):
				return "and the rebound rod";	// 19 
			case Item::get('Powder'):
				return "and the magic sack";	// 18 
			case Item::get('Bombos'):
				return "and the swirly coin";	// 19 
			case Item::get('Ether'):
				return "and the bolt coin";	// 17 
			case Item::get('Quake'):
				return "and the wavy coin";	// 17 
			case Item::get('Lamp'):
				return "and the flashlight";	// 18 
			case Item::get('Shovel'):
				return "and the flute scoop";	// 19 
			case Item::get('CaneOfSomaria'):
				return "the walking stick";	// 17 and the walking stick
			case Item::get('CaneOfByrna'):
				return "and the sapphire bat";	// 20 
			case Item::get('Cape'):
				return "the camouflage cape";	// 19 and the camouflage cape
			case Item::get('MagicMirror'):
				return "the face reflector";	// 18 and the face reflector
			case Item::get('PowerGlove'):
				return "and the grey mitten";	// 19 
			case Item::get('TitansMitt'):
				return "and the golden glove";	// 20 
			case Item::get('BookOfMudora'):
				return "and the story book";	// 18 
			case Item::get('Flippers'):
				return "the water airfoil";	// 17 and the water airfoil
			case Item::get('MoonPearl'):
				return "and the jaw breaker";	// 19 
			case Item::get('BugCatchingNet'):
				return "and the surprise net";	// 20 
			case Item::get('BlueMail'):
				return "and the banana hat";	// 18 
			case Item::get('RedMail'):
				return "and the eggplant hat";	// 20 
			case Item::get('BigKey'):
			case Item::get('Key'):
				return "and the key";	// 11 
			case Item::get('Compass'):
				return "and the compass";	// 15 
			case Item::get('Map'):
				return "and the map";	// 11 
			case Item::get('PieceOfHeart'):
				return "and the broken heart";	// 20 
			case Item::get('BossHeartContainer'):
			case Item::get('HeartContainer'):
			case Item::get('HeartContainerNoAnimation'):
				return "and the full heart";	// 18 
			case Item::get('Bomb'):
			case Item::get('ThreeBombs'):
				return "and the explosion";	// 17 
			case Item::get('TenBombs'):
				return "the big explosion";	// 17 and the big explosion
			case Item::get('Mushroom'):
				return "and the legal drug";	// 18 
			case Item::get('Bottle'):
				return "and the terrarium";	// 17 
			case Item::get('BottleWithRedPotion'):
				return "and the ruby goo";	// 16 
			case Item::get('BottleWithGreenPotion'):
				return "and the emerald goo";	// 19 
			case Item::get('BottleWithBluePotion'):
				return "and the sapphire goo";	// 20 
			case Item::get('BottleWithGoldBee'):
				return "and the beetor";	// 14 
			case Item::get('BottleWithBee'):
				return "and the mad friend";	// 18 
			case Item::get('BottleWithFairy'):
				return "and the fairy friend";	// 20 
			case Item::get('Heart'):
				return "and the tiny heart";	// 18 
			case Item::get('Arrow'):
				return "the vampire skewer";	// 18 and the vampire skewer
			case Item::get('TenArrows'):
				return "the vampire skewers";	// 19 and the vampire skewers
			case Item::get('SmallMagic'):
				return "and the tiny pouch";	// 18 
			case Item::get('FiveRupees'):
			case Item::get('OneRupee'):
				return "the pocket change";	// 17 and the pocket change
			case Item::get('FiftyRupees'):
			case Item::get('TwentyRupees'):
			case Item::get('TwentyRupees2'):
				return "and the couch cash";	// 18 
			case Item::get('OneHundredRupees'):
				return "and the rupee stash";	// 19 
			case Item::get('ThreeHundredRupees'):
				return "and the rupee hoard";	// 19 
			case Item::get('OcarinaActive'):
			case Item::get('OcarinaInactive'):
				return "and the duck call";	// 17 
			case Item::get('PegasusBoots'):
				return "and the sprint shoe";	// 19 
			case Item::get('BombUpgrade5'):
			case Item::get('BombUpgrade10'):
			case Item::get('BombUpgrade50'):
				return "and the bomb booster";	// 20 
			case Item::get('ArrowUpgrade5'):
			case Item::get('ArrowUpgrade10'):
			case Item::get('ArrowUpgrade70'):
				return "the arrow booster";	// 17 and the arrow booster
			case Item::get('SilverArrowUpgrade'):
				return "and the razor blade";	// 19 
			case Item::get('HalfMagic'):
			case Item::get('QuarterMagic'):
				return "and the magic-saver";	// 19 
			case Item::get('Rupoor'):
				return "and the toll-booth";	// 18 
			case Item::get('RedClock'):
				return "and the ruby clock";	// 18 
			case Item::get('BlueClock'):
				return "the sapphire clock";	// 18 and the sapphire clock
			case Item::get('GreenClock'):
				return "the emerald clock";	// 17 and the emerald clock
			case Item::get('Nothing'):
			default:
				return "and nothing";	// 11 
		}
	} // 20 (20)

// HauntedGrove
	private function getItemCreditsText() {
		switch ($this->item) {
			case Item::get('L1Sword'):
			case Item::get('L1SwordAndShield'):
			case Item::get('L2Sword'):
			case Item::get('L3Sword'):
			case Item::get('L4Sword'):
			case Item::get('MasterSword'):
				return "boy fights again";	// 16 
			case Item::get('BlueShield'):
			case Item::get('MirrorShield'):
			case Item::get('RedShield'):
				return "boy defends again";	// 17 
			case Item::get('FireRod'):
				return "boy burns again";	// 15 
			case Item::get('IceRod'):
				return "boy freezes again";	// 17 
			case Item::get('Hammer'):
				return "stop, hammer time";	// 17 
			case Item::get('Hookshot'):
				return "boy tickles again";	// 17 
			case Item::get('Bow'):
			case Item::get('BowAndArrows'):
			case Item::get('BowAndSilverArrows'):
				return "boy shoots again";	// 16 
			case Item::get('Boomerang'):
			case Item::get('RedBoomerang'):
				return "boy plays fetch again";	// 21 
			case Item::get('Powder'):
				return "boy plays marbles again";	// 23 
			case Item::get('Bombos'):
			case Item::get('Ether'):
			case Item::get('Quake'):
				return "boy hides coin again";	// 20 
			case Item::get('Lamp'):
				return "boy sees at night again";	// 23 
			case Item::get('Shovel'):
				return "boy digs again";	// 14 
			case Item::get('CaneOfSomaria'):
				return "boy makes blocks again";	// 22 
			case Item::get('CaneOfByrna'):
				return "boy encircles again";	// 19 
			case Item::get('Cape'):
				return "boy hides again";	// 15 
			case Item::get('MagicMirror'):
				return "boy sees himself again";	// 22 
			case Item::get('PowerGlove'):
				return "boy lifts again";	// 15 
			case Item::get('TitansMitt'):
				return "boy has bling again";	// 19 
			case Item::get('BookOfMudora'):
				return "boy can read again";	// 18 
			case Item::get('Flippers'):
				return "boy swims again";	// 15 
			case Item::get('MoonPearl'):
				return "boy plays ball again";	// 20 
			case Item::get('BugCatchingNet'):
				return "boy catches bees again";	// 22 
			case Item::get('BlueMail'):
				return "boy banana hatted again";	// 23 
			case Item::get('RedMail'):
				return "boy fears nothing again";	// 23 
			case Item::get('BigKey'):
			case Item::get('Key'):
				return "boy picks locks again";	// 21 
			case Item::get('Compass'):
				return "boy finds boss again";	// 20 
			case Item::get('Map'):
				return "boy navigates again";	// 19 
			case Item::get('BossHeartContainer'):
			case Item::get('HeartContainer'):
			case Item::get('HeartContainerNoAnimation'):
			case Item::get('PieceOfHeart'):
				return "boy feels love again";	// 20 
			case Item::get('Bomb'):
			case Item::get('TenBombs'):
			case Item::get('ThreeBombs'):
				return "boy explodes again";	// 18 
			case Item::get('Mushroom'):
				return "boy sells drugs again";	// 21 
			case Item::get('Bottle'):
				return "boy has terrarium again";	// 23 
			case Item::get('BottleWithRedPotion'):
				return "boy has red goo again";	// 21 
			case Item::get('BottleWithGreenPotion'):
				return "boy has green goo again";	// 23 
			case Item::get('BottleWithBluePotion'):
				return "boy has blue goo again";	// 22 
			case Item::get('BottleWithGoldBee'):
				return "boy has beetor again";	// 20 
			case Item::get('BottleWithBee'):
				return "boy has mad bee again";	// 21 
			case Item::get('BottleWithFairy'):
				return "boy has friend again";	// 20 
			case Item::get('Heart'):
				return "boy has affection again";	// 23 
			case Item::get('Arrow'):
			case Item::get('TenArrows'):
				return "boy sews again";	// 14 
			case Item::get('SmallMagic'):
				return "boy summons again";	// 17 
			case Item::get('FiftyRupees'):
			case Item::get('FiveRupees'):
			case Item::get('OneRupee'):
			case Item::get('TwentyRupees'):
			case Item::get('TwentyRupees2'):
				return "boy has lunch again";	// 19 
			case Item::get('OneHundredRupees'):
				return "boy goes drinking again";	// 23 
			case Item::get('ThreeHundredRupees'):
				return "boy is rich again";	// 17 
			case Item::get('OcarinaActive'):
			case Item::get('OcarinaInactive'):
				return "ocarina boy plays again";	// 23 
			case Item::get('PegasusBoots'):
				return "boy runs again";	// 14 
			case Item::get('BombUpgrade5'):
			case Item::get('BombUpgrade10'):
			case Item::get('BombUpgrade50'):
				return "boy explodes more again";	// 23 
			case Item::get('ArrowUpgrade5'):
			case Item::get('ArrowUpgrade10'):
			case Item::get('ArrowUpgrade70'):
				return "boy sews more again";	// 19 
			case Item::get('SilverArrowUpgrade'):
				return "boy sharpens again";	// 18 
			case Item::get('HalfMagic'):
			case Item::get('QuarterMagic'):
				return "boy saves magic again";	// 21 
			case Item::get('Rupoor'):
				return "boy steals rupees again";	// 23 
			case Item::get('RedClock'):
				return "boy travels time again";	// 22 
			case Item::get('BlueClock'):
				return "boy time travels again";	// 22 
			case Item::get('GreenClock'):
				return "boy adjusts time again";	// 22 
			case Item::get('Nothing'):
			default:
				return "boy does nothing again";	// 22 
		}
	} // 23 (23)

// BugCatchingKid
	private function getItemCreditsText() {
		switch ($this->item) {
			case Item::get('L1Sword'):
			case Item::get('L1SwordAndShield'):
			case Item::get('L2Sword'):
			case Item::get('L3Sword'):
			case Item::get('L4Sword'):
			case Item::get('MasterSword'):
				return "sword-wielding kid";	// 18 the sword-wielding kid
			case Item::get('BlueShield'):
			case Item::get('MirrorShield'):
			case Item::get('RedShield'):
				return "shield-wielding kid";	// 19 the shield-wielding kid
			case Item::get('FireRod'):
				return "fire-starting kid";	// 17 the fire-starting kid
			case Item::get('IceRod'):
				return "the ice-bending kid";	// 19 
			case Item::get('Hammer'):
				return "hammer-smashing kid";	// 19 the hammer-smashing kid
			case Item::get('Hookshot'):
				return "tickle-monster kid";	// 18 the tickle-monster kid
			case Item::get('Bow'):
			case Item::get('BowAndArrows'):
			case Item::get('BowAndSilverArrows'):
				return "arrow-slinging kid";	// 18 the arrow-slinging kid
			case Item::get('Boomerang'):
			case Item::get('RedBoomerang'):
				return "the bat-throwing kid";	// 20 
			case Item::get('Powder'):
				return "the sack-holding kid";	// 20 
			case Item::get('Bombos'):
			case Item::get('Ether'):
			case Item::get('Quake'):
				return "coin-collecting kid";	// 19 the coin-collecting kid
			case Item::get('Lamp'):
				return "light-shining kid";	// 17 the light-shining kid
			case Item::get('Shovel'):
				return "archaeologist kid";	// 17 the archaeologist kid
			case Item::get('CaneOfSomaria'):
				return "the block-making kid";	// 20 
			case Item::get('CaneOfByrna'):
				return "the spark-making kid";	// 20 
			case Item::get('Cape'):
				return "red riding-hood kid";	// 19 the red riding-hood kid
			case Item::get('MagicMirror'):
				return "the narcissistic kid";	// 20 
			case Item::get('PowerGlove'):
			case Item::get('TitansMitt'):
				return "body-building kid";	// 17 the body-building kid
			case Item::get('BookOfMudora'):
				return "the scholarly kid";	// 17 
			case Item::get('Flippers'):
				return "the swimming kid";	// 16 
			case Item::get('MoonPearl'):
				return "fortune-telling kid";	// 19 the fortune-telling kid
			case Item::get('BugCatchingNet'):
				return "the bug-catching kid";	// 20 
			case Item::get('BlueMail'):
				return "the protected kid";	// 17 
			case Item::get('RedMail'):
				return "well-protected kid";	// 18 the well-protected kid
			case Item::get('BigKey'):
			case Item::get('Key'):
				return "the key-holding kid";	// 19 
			case Item::get('Compass'):
				return "the navigating kid";	// 18 
			case Item::get('Map'):
				return "the cartographer kid";	// 20 
			case Item::get('BossHeartContainer'):
			case Item::get('HeartContainer'):
			case Item::get('HeartContainerNoAnimation'):
			case Item::get('PieceOfHeart'):
				return "the life-giving kid";	// 19 
			case Item::get('Bomb'):
			case Item::get('TenBombs'):
			case Item::get('ThreeBombs'):
				return "the bomb-holding kid";	// 20 
			case Item::get('Mushroom'):
				return "the drug-dealing kid";	// 20 
			case Item::get('Bottle'):
				return "the terrarium kid";	// 17 
			case Item::get('BottleWithBluePotion'):
			case Item::get('BottleWithGreenPotion'):
			case Item::get('BottleWithRedPotion'):
				return "potion-slinging kid";	// 19 the potion-slinging kid
			case Item::get('BottleWithBee'):
			case Item::get('BottleWithGoldBee'):
				return "the bug-caught kid";	// 18 
			case Item::get('BottleWithFairy'):
				return "fairy-catching kid";	// 18 the fairy-catching kid
			case Item::get('Heart'):
				return "affection-giving kid";	// 20 the affection-giving kid
			case Item::get('Arrow'):
			case Item::get('TenArrows'):
				return "stick-collecting kid";	// 20 the stick-collecting kid
			case Item::get('SmallMagic'):
				return "magic-slinging kid";	// 18 the magic-slinging kid
			case Item::get('FiveRupees'):
			case Item::get('OneRupee'):
				return "poverty-struck kid";	// 18 the poverty-struck kid
			case Item::get('FiftyRupees'):
			case Item::get('TwentyRupees'):
			case Item::get('TwentyRupees2'):
				return "the piggy-bank kid";	// 18 
			case Item::get('OneHundredRupees'):
				return "the kind-of-rich kid";	// 20 
			case Item::get('ThreeHundredRupees'):
				return "the really-rich kid";	// 19 
			case Item::get('OcarinaActive'):
			case Item::get('OcarinaInactive'):
				return "the duck-call kid";	// 17 
			case Item::get('PegasusBoots'):
				return "the running-man kid";	// 19 
			case Item::get('BombUpgrade5'):
			case Item::get('BombUpgrade10'):
			case Item::get('BombUpgrade50'):
				return "boom-enlarging kid";	// 18 the boom-enlarging kid
			case Item::get('ArrowUpgrade5'):
			case Item::get('ArrowUpgrade10'):
			case Item::get('ArrowUpgrade70'):
				return "quiver-enlarging kid";	// 20 the quiver-enlarging kid
			case Item::get('SilverArrowUpgrade'):
				return "arrow-sharpening kid";	// 20 the arrow-sharpening kid
			case Item::get('HalfMagic'):
			case Item::get('QuarterMagic'):
				return "the magic-saving kid";	// 20 
			case Item::get('Rupoor'):
				return "the toll-booth kid";	// 18 
			case Item::get('RedClock'):
				return "the ruby-time kid";	// 17 
			case Item::get('BlueClock'):
				return "sapphire-time kid";	// 17 the sapphire-time kid
			case Item::get('GreenClock'):
				return "the emerald-time kid";	// 20 
			case Item::get('Nothing'):
			default:
				return "nothing-having kid";	// 18 the nothing-having kid
		}
	} // 20 (20)

// Witch
	private function getItemCreditsText() {
		switch ($this->item) {
			case Item::get('L1Sword'):
			case Item::get('L1SwordAndShield'):
				return "fungus for slasher";	// 18 
			case Item::get('L2Sword'):
			case Item::get('MasterSword'):
				return "fungus for blue slasher";	// 23 
			case Item::get('L3Sword'):
				return "fungus for red slasher";	// 22 
			case Item::get('L4Sword'):
				return "cap churned to butter";	// 21 
			case Item::get('BlueShield'):
				return "fungus for shield";	// 17 
			case Item::get('RedShield'):
				return "fungus for fire shield";	// 22 
			case Item::get('MirrorShield'):
				return "fungus for shiny shield";	// 23 
			case Item::get('FireRod'):
				return "fungus for rage-rod";	// 19 
			case Item::get('IceRod'):
				return "fungus for ice-rod";	// 18 
			case Item::get('Hammer'):
				return "stop...   hammer time";	// 21 
			case Item::get('Hookshot'):
				return "witch and tickle boy";	// 20 the witch and tickle boy
			case Item::get('Bow'):
			case Item::get('BowAndArrows'):
			case Item::get('BowAndSilverArrows'):
				return "witch and robin hood";	// 20 the witch and robin hood
			case Item::get('Boomerang'):
				return "fungus for puma-stick";	// 21 
			case Item::get('RedBoomerang'):
				return "fungus for return-stick";	// 23 
			case Item::get('Powder'):
				return "the witch and assistant";	// 23 
			case Item::get('Bombos'):
				return "shrooms for swirly-coin";	// 23 
			case Item::get('Ether'):
				return "shrooms for bolt-coin";	// 21 
			case Item::get('Quake'):
				return "shrooms for wavy-coin";	// 21 
			case Item::get('Lamp'):
				return "fungus for illumination";	// 23 
			case Item::get('Shovel'):
				return "can you dig it";	// 14 
			case Item::get('CaneOfSomaria'):
				return "block stick for trade";	// 21 
			case Item::get('CaneOfByrna'):
				return "spark-stick for trade";	// 21 
			case Item::get('Cape'):
				return "hood from a hood";	// 16 
			case Item::get('MagicMirror'):
				return "trades looking-glass";	// 20 
			case Item::get('PowerGlove'):
				return "fungus for gloves";	// 17 
			case Item::get('TitansMitt'):
				return "fungus for bling-gloves";	// 23 
			case Item::get('BookOfMudora'):
				return "drugs for literacy";	// 18 
			case Item::get('Flippers'):
				return "shrooms let you swim";	// 20 
			case Item::get('MoonPearl'):
				return "shrooms for moon rock";	// 21 
			case Item::get('BugCatchingNet'):
				return "fungus for butterflies";	// 22 
			case Item::get('BlueMail'):
				return "the clothing store";	// 18 
			case Item::get('RedMail'):
				return "the nice clothing store";	// 23 
			case Item::get('BigKey'):
			case Item::get('Key'):
				return "keys, keys, keys";	// 16 
			case Item::get('Compass'):
			case Item::get('Map'):
				return "shrooms for navigation";	// 22 
			case Item::get('BossHeartContainer'):
			case Item::get('HeartContainer'):
			case Item::get('HeartContainerNoAnimation'):
			case Item::get('PieceOfHeart'):
				return "fungus for life";	// 15 
			case Item::get('Bomb'):
			case Item::get('TenBombs'):
			case Item::get('ThreeBombs'):
				return "blend fungus into bombs";	// 23 
			case Item::get('Mushroom'):
				return "my name is error";	// 16 
			case Item::get('Bottle'):
				return "first taste is not free";	// 23 
			case Item::get('BottleWithBluePotion'):
			case Item::get('BottleWithGreenPotion'):
			case Item::get('BottleWithRedPotion'):
				return "free samples";	// 12 
			case Item::get('BottleWithBee'):
			case Item::get('BottleWithGoldBee'):
				return "beetor for trade";	// 16 
			case Item::get('BottleWithFairy'):
				return "shrooms for friends";	// 19 
			case Item::get('Heart'):
				return "trading for transplant";	// 22 
			case Item::get('Arrow'):
			case Item::get('TenArrows'):
				return "fungus for arrows";	// 17 
			case Item::get('SmallMagic'):
				return "fungus for magic";	// 16 
			case Item::get('FiveRupees'):
			case Item::get('OneRupee'):
				return "buying cheap drugs";	// 18 
			case Item::get('FiftyRupees'):
			case Item::get('TwentyRupees'):
			case Item::get('TwentyRupees2'):
				return "the witch buying drugs";	// 22 
			case Item::get('OneHundredRupees'):
				return "buying good drugs";	// 17 
			case Item::get('ThreeHundredRupees'):
				return "buying the best drugs";	// 21 
			case Item::get('OcarinaActive'):
			case Item::get('OcarinaInactive'):
				return "duck-calls for trade";	// 20 
			case Item::get('PegasusBoots'):
				return "shrooms for speed";	// 17 
			case Item::get('BombUpgrade5'):
			case Item::get('BombUpgrade10'):
			case Item::get('BombUpgrade50'):
				return "the shroom goes boom";	// 20 
			case Item::get('ArrowUpgrade5'):
			case Item::get('ArrowUpgrade10'):
			case Item::get('ArrowUpgrade70'):
				return "witch and more skewers";	// 22 
			case Item::get('SilverArrowUpgrade'):
				return "arrow-honing service";	// 20 
			case Item::get('HalfMagic'):
			case Item::get('QuarterMagic'):
				return "mekalekahi mekahiney ho";	// 23 
			case Item::get('Rupoor'):
				return "witch stole your rupees";	// 23 
			case Item::get('RedClock'):
				return "shrooms for ruby time";	// 21 
			case Item::get('BlueClock'):
				return "for sapphire time";	// 17 fungus for sapphire time
			case Item::get('GreenClock'):
				return "for emerald time";	// 16 shrooms for emerald time
			case Item::get('BottleWithBee'):
				return "mad friend for trade";	// 20 
			case Item::get('Nothing'):
			default:
				return "mushrooms go poof";	// 17 
		}
	} // 23 (23)

// Zora
	private function getItemCreditsText() {
		switch ($this->item) {
			case Item::get('L1Sword'):
			case Item::get('L1SwordAndShield'):
				return "sword for sale";	// 14 
			case Item::get('L2Sword'):
			case Item::get('MasterSword'):
				return "glow sword for sale";	// 19 
			case Item::get('L3Sword'):
				return "flame sword for sale";	// 20 
			case Item::get('L4Sword'):
				return "butter for sale";	// 15 
			case Item::get('BlueShield'):
				return "bad defense for sale";	// 20 
			case Item::get('RedShield'):
				return "fire shield for sale";	// 20 
			case Item::get('MirrorShield'):
				return "face shield for sale";	// 20 
			case Item::get('FireRod'):
				return "rage rod for sale";	// 17 
			case Item::get('IceRod'):
				return "freeze ray for sale";	// 19 
			case Item::get('Hammer'):
				return "m c hammer for sale";	// 19 
			case Item::get('Hookshot'):
				return "tickle beam for sale";	// 20 
			case Item::get('Bow'):
				return "arrow sling for sale";	// 20 
			case Item::get('BowAndArrows'):
				return "point stick for sale";	// 20 
			case Item::get('BowAndSilverArrows'):
				return "you got lucky";	// 13 
			case Item::get('Boomerang'):
				return "bent stick for sale";	// 19 
			case Item::get('RedBoomerang'):
				return "air foil for sale";	// 17 
			case Item::get('Powder'):
				return "magic sack for sale";	// 19 
			case Item::get('Bombos'):
				return "swirly coin for sale";	// 20 
			case Item::get('Ether'):
				return "bolt coin for sale";	// 18 
			case Item::get('Quake'):
				return "wavy coin for sale";	// 18 
			case Item::get('Lamp'):
				return "flashlight for sale";	// 19 
			case Item::get('Shovel'):
				return "dirt spade for sale";	// 19 
			case Item::get('CaneOfSomaria'):
				return "block stick for sale";	// 20 
			case Item::get('CaneOfByrna'):
				return "spark stick for sale";	// 20 
			case Item::get('Cape'):
				return "red hood for sale";	// 17 
			case Item::get('MagicMirror'):
				return "your face for sale";	// 18 
			case Item::get('PowerGlove'):
				return "lift glove for sale";	// 19 
			case Item::get('TitansMitt'):
				return "carry glove for sale";	// 20 
			case Item::get('BookOfMudora'):
				return "moon runes for sale";	// 19 
			case Item::get('Flippers'):
				return "finger webs for sale";	// 20 
			case Item::get('MoonPearl'):
				return "lunar orb for sale";	// 18 
			case Item::get('BugCatchingNet'):
				return "stick web for sale";	// 18 
			case Item::get('BlueMail'):
				return "banana hat for sale";	// 19 
			case Item::get('RedMail'):
				return "purple hat for sale";	// 19 
			case Item::get('BigKey'):
			case Item::get('Key'):
				return "key for sale";	// 12 
			case Item::get('Compass'):
				return "bearings for sale";	// 17 
			case Item::get('Map'):
				return "world for sale";	// 14 
			case Item::get('PieceOfHeart'):
				return "little love for sale";	// 20 
			case Item::get('BossHeartContainer'):
			case Item::get('HeartContainer'):
			case Item::get('HeartContainerNoAnimation'):
				return "love for sale";	// 13 
			case Item::get('Bomb'):
				return "firecracker for sale";	// 20 
			case Item::get('ThreeBombs'):
				return "fireworks for sale";	// 18 
			case Item::get('TenBombs'):
				return "boom boom for sale";	// 18 
			case Item::get('Mushroom'):
				return "legal drugs for sale";	// 20 
			case Item::get('Bottle'):
				return "terrarium for sale";	// 18 
			case Item::get('BottleWithRedPotion'):
				return "red goo for sale";	// 16 
			case Item::get('BottleWithGreenPotion'):
				return "green goo for sale";	// 18 
			case Item::get('BottleWithBluePotion'):
				return "blue goo for sale";	// 17 
			case Item::get('BottleWithGoldBee'):
				return "beetor for sale";	// 15 
			case Item::get('BottleWithBee'):
				return "mad bee for sale";	// 16 
			case Item::get('BottleWithFairy'):
				return "friend for sale";	// 15 
			case Item::get('Heart'):
				return "affection for sale";	// 18 
			case Item::get('Arrow'):
			case Item::get('TenArrows'):
				return "sewing kit for sale";	// 19 
			case Item::get('SmallMagic'):
				return "alchemy for sale";	// 16 
			case Item::get('FiftyRupees'):
			case Item::get('FiveRupees'):
			case Item::get('OneRupee'):
			case Item::get('TwentyRupees'):
			case Item::get('TwentyRupees2'):
				return "life lesson for sale";	// 20 
			case Item::get('OneHundredRupees'):
				return "fair trade for sale";	// 19 
			case Item::get('ThreeHundredRupees'):
				return "good for sale";	// 13 
			case Item::get('OcarinaActive'):
			case Item::get('OcarinaInactive'):
				return "duck call for sale";	// 18 
			case Item::get('PegasusBoots'):
				return "sprint shoe for sale";	// 20 
			case Item::get('BombUpgrade5'):
			case Item::get('BombUpgrade10'):
			case Item::get('BombUpgrade50'):
				return "bomb boost for sale";	// 19 
			case Item::get('ArrowUpgrade5'):
			case Item::get('ArrowUpgrade10'):
			case Item::get('ArrowUpgrade70'):
				return "arrow boost for sale";	// 20 
			case Item::get('SilverArrowUpgrade'):
				return "sharp arrow for sale";	// 20 
			case Item::get('HalfMagic'):
			case Item::get('QuarterMagic'):
				return "wizardry for sale";	// 17 
			case Item::get('Rupoor'):
				return "double loss for sale";	// 20 
			case Item::get('BlueClock'):
				return "blue time for sale";	// 18 
			case Item::get('GreenClock'):
				return "green time for sale";	// 19 
			case Item::get('RedClock'):
				return "red time for sale";	// 17 
			case Item::get('Nothing'):
			default:
				return "nothing for sale";	// 16 
		}
	} // 20 (20)

// LostOldMan
	private function getItemCreditsText() {
		switch ($this->item) {
			case Item::get('L1Sword'):
			case Item::get('L1SwordAndShield'):
			case Item::get('L2Sword'):
			case Item::get('L3Sword'):
			case Item::get('L4Sword'):
			case Item::get('MasterSword'):
				return "fighting old man";	// 16 the fighting old man
			case Item::get('BlueShield'):
			case Item::get('MirrorShield'):
			case Item::get('RedShield'):
				return "old man";	// 7 defensive old man
			case Item::get('FireRod'):
				return "burned old man";	// 14 the burned old man
			case Item::get('IceRod'):
				return "frozen old man";	// 14 the frozen old man
			case Item::get('Hammer'):
				return "hammered old man";	// 16 the hammered old man
			case Item::get('Hookshot'):
				return "grappled old man";	// 16 the grappled old man
			case Item::get('Bow'):
			case Item::get('BowAndArrows'):
				return "shooting old man";	// 16 the shooting old man
			case Item::get('Boomerang'):
			case Item::get('RedBoomerang'):
				return "aimless old man";	// 15 the aimless old man
			case Item::get('Powder'):
				return "the high old man";	// 16 
			case Item::get('Bombos'):
			case Item::get('Ether'):
			case Item::get('Quake'):
				return "medallic old man";	// 16 the medallic old man
			case Item::get('Lamp'):
				return "bright old man";	// 14 the bright old man
			case Item::get('Shovel'):
				return "digging old man";	// 15 the digging old man
			case Item::get('CaneOfSomaria'):
				return "blocky old man";	// 14 the blocky old man
			case Item::get('CaneOfByrna'):
				return "sparkly old man";	// 15 the sparkly old man
			case Item::get('Cape'):
				return "old man";	// 7 invisible old man
			case Item::get('MagicMirror'):
				return "the lost old man";	// 16 
			case Item::get('PowerGlove'):
				return "the buff old man";	// 16 
			case Item::get('TitansMitt'):
				return "hulky old man";	// 13 the hulky old man
			case Item::get('BookOfMudora'):
				return "bookworm old man";	// 16 the bookworm old man
			case Item::get('Flippers'):
				return "swimming old man";	// 16 the swimming old man
			case Item::get('MoonPearl'):
				return "old man";	// 7 shapeshifting old man
			case Item::get('BugCatchingNet'):
				return "old man";	// 7 collected old man
			case Item::get('BlueMail'):
				return "sapphire old man";	// 16 the sapphire old man
			case Item::get('RedMail'):
				return "the ruby old man";	// 16 
			case Item::get('BigKey'):
			case Item::get('Key'):
				return "old man";	// 7 lockpicking old man
			case Item::get('Compass'):
				return "old man";	// 7 directional old man
			case Item::get('Map'):
				return "old man";	// 7 navigable old man
			case Item::get('BossHeartContainer'):
			case Item::get('HeartContainer'):
			case Item::get('HeartContainerNoAnimation'):
			case Item::get('PieceOfHeart'):
				return "lovable old man";	// 15 the lovable old man
			case Item::get('Bomb'):
			case Item::get('TenBombs'):
			case Item::get('ThreeBombs'):
				return "old man";	// 7 explosive old man
			case Item::get('Mushroom'):
				return "old man";	// 7 shrooming old man
			case Item::get('Bottle'):
			case Item::get('BottleWithBee'):
			case Item::get('BottleWithBluePotion'):
			case Item::get('BottleWithFairy'):
			case Item::get('BottleWithGoldBee'):
			case Item::get('BottleWithGreenPotion'):
			case Item::get('BottleWithRedPotion'):
				return "old man";	// 7 contained old man
			case Item::get('Heart'):
				return "old man";	// 7 ventricular old man
			case Item::get('Arrow'):
			case Item::get('TenArrows'):
				return "pointed old man";	// 15 the pointed old man
			case Item::get('SmallMagic'):
				return "summoner old man";	// 16 the summoner old man
			case Item::get('FiftyRupees'):
			case Item::get('FiveRupees'):
			case Item::get('OneHundredRupees'):
			case Item::get('OneRupee'):
			case Item::get('ThreeHundredRupees'):
			case Item::get('TwentyRupees'):
			case Item::get('TwentyRupees2'):
				return "cashed old man";	// 14 the cashed old man
			case Item::get('OcarinaActive'):
			case Item::get('OcarinaInactive'):
				return "musical old man";	// 15 the musical old man
			case Item::get('PegasusBoots'):
				return "the fast old man";	// 16 
			case Item::get('BombUpgrade5'):
			case Item::get('BombUpgrade10'):
			case Item::get('BombUpgrade50'):
				return "old man";	// 7 abombable old man
			case Item::get('ArrowUpgrade5'):
			case Item::get('ArrowUpgrade10'):
			case Item::get('ArrowUpgrade70'):
				return "old man";	// 7 quivering old man
			case Item::get('BowAndSilverArrows'):
			case Item::get('SilverArrowUpgrade'):
				return "old man";	// 7 sharpened old man
			case Item::get('HalfMagic'):
			case Item::get('QuarterMagic'):
				return "magical old man";	// 15 the magical old man
			case Item::get('Rupoor'):
				return "the poor old man";	// 16 
			case Item::get('RedClock'):
				return "the late old man";	// 16 
			case Item::get('BlueClock'):
			case Item::get('GreenClock'):
				return "punctual old man";	// 16 the punctual old man
			case Item::get('Nothing'):
			default:
				return "old man";	// 7 non-existant old man
		}
	} // 16 (16)

Item	Altar	BugCatchingKid	HauntedGrove	LostOldMan	Witch	Zora
Arrow	the vampire skewer sleeps again...forever	stick-collecting kid	boy sews again	pointed old man	fungus for arrows	sewing kit for sale
ArrowUpgrade10	the arrow booster sleeps again...forever	quiver-enlarging kid	boy sews more again	old man	witch and more skewers	arrow boost for sale
ArrowUpgrade5	the arrow booster sleeps again...forever	quiver-enlarging kid	boy sews more again	old man	witch and more skewers	arrow boost for sale
ArrowUpgrade70	the arrow booster sleeps again...forever	quiver-enlarging kid	boy sews more again	old man	witch and more skewers	arrow boost for sale
BigKey	and the key sleeps again...forever	the key-holding kid	boy picks locks again	old man	keys, keys, keys	key for sale
BlueClock	the sapphire clock sleeps again...forever	sapphire-time kid	boy time travels again	punctual old man	for sapphire time	blue time for sale
BlueMail	and the banana hat sleeps again...forever	the protected kid	boy banana hatted again	sapphire old man	the clothing store	banana hat for sale
BlueShield	the useless shield sleeps again...forever	shield-wielding kid	boy defends again	old man	fungus for shield	bad defense for sale
Bomb	and the explosion sleeps again...forever	the bomb-holding kid	boy explodes again	old man	blend fungus into bombs	firecracker for sale
BombUpgrade10	and the bomb booster sleeps again...forever	boom-enlarging kid	boy explodes more again	old man	the shroom goes boom	bomb boost for sale
BombUpgrade5	and the bomb booster sleeps again...forever	boom-enlarging kid	boy explodes more again	old man	the shroom goes boom	bomb boost for sale
BombUpgrade50	and the bomb booster sleeps again...forever	boom-enlarging kid	boy explodes more again	old man	the shroom goes boom	bomb boost for sale
Bombos	and the swirly coin sleeps again...forever	coin-collecting kid	boy hides coin again	medallic old man	shrooms for swirly-coin	swirly coin for sale
BookOfMudora	and the story book sleeps again...forever	the scholarly kid	boy can read again	bookworm old man	drugs for literacy	moon runes for sale
Boomerang	the backlash stick sleeps again...forever	the bat-throwing kid	boy plays fetch again	aimless old man	fungus for puma-stick	bent stick for sale
BossHeartContainer	and the full heart sleeps again...forever	the life-giving kid	boy feels love again	lovable old man	fungus for life	love for sale
Bottle	and the terrarium sleeps again...forever	the terrarium kid	boy has terrarium again	old man	first taste is not free	terrarium for sale
BottleWithBee	and the mad friend sleeps again...forever	the bug-caught kid	boy has mad bee again	old man	mad friend for trade	mad bee for sale
BottleWithBluePotion	and the sapphire goo sleeps again...forever	potion-slinging kid	boy has blue goo again	old man	free samples	blue goo for sale
BottleWithFairy	and the fairy friend sleeps again...forever	fairy-catching kid	boy has friend again	old man	shrooms for friends	friend for sale
BottleWithGoldBee	and the beetor sleeps again...forever	the bug-caught kid	boy has beetor again	old man	beetor for trade	beetor for sale
BottleWithGreenPotion	and the emerald goo sleeps again...forever	potion-slinging kid	boy has green goo again	old man	free samples	green goo for sale
BottleWithRedPotion	and the ruby goo sleeps again...forever	potion-slinging kid	boy has red goo again	old man	free samples	red goo for sale
Bow	the stick and twine sleeps again...forever	arrow-slinging kid	boy shoots again	shooting old man	witch and robin hood	arrow sling for sale
BowAndArrows	the stick and twine sleeps again...forever	arrow-slinging kid	boy shoots again	shooting old man	witch and robin hood	point stick for sale
BowAndSilverArrows	the stick and twine sleeps again...forever	arrow-slinging kid	boy shoots again	old man	witch and robin hood	you got lucky
BugCatchingNet	and the surprise net sleeps again...forever	the bug-catching kid	boy catches bees again	old man	fungus for butterflies	stick web for sale
CaneOfByrna	and the sapphire bat sleeps again...forever	the spark-making kid	boy encircles again	sparkly old man	spark-stick for trade	spark stick for sale
CaneOfSomaria	the walking stick sleeps again...forever	the block-making kid	boy makes blocks again	blocky old man	block stick for trade	block stick for sale
Cape	the camouflage cape sleeps again...forever	red riding-hood kid	boy hides again	old man	hood from a hood	red hood for sale
Compass	and the compass sleeps again...forever	the navigating kid	boy finds boss again	old man	shrooms for navigation	bearings for sale
Ether	and the bolt coin sleeps again...forever	coin-collecting kid	boy hides coin again	medallic old man	shrooms for bolt-coin	bolt coin for sale
FiftyRupees	and the couch cash sleeps again...forever	the piggy-bank kid	boy has lunch again	cashed old man	the witch buying drugs	life lesson for sale
FireRod	and the rage rod sleeps again...forever	fire-starting kid	boy burns again	burned old man	fungus for rage-rod	rage rod for sale
FiveRupees	the pocket change sleeps again...forever	poverty-struck kid	boy has lunch again	cashed old man	buying cheap drugs	life lesson for sale
Flippers	the water airfoil sleeps again...forever	the swimming kid	boy swims again	swimming old man	shrooms let you swim	finger webs for sale
GreenClock	the emerald clock sleeps again...forever	the emerald-time kid	boy adjusts time again	punctual old man	for emerald time	green time for sale
HalfMagic	and the magic-saver sleeps again...forever	the magic-saving kid	boy saves magic again	magical old man	mekalekahi mekahiney ho	wizardry for sale
Hammer	and m c hammer sleeps again...forever	hammer-smashing kid	stop, hammer time	hammered old man	stop... hammer time	m c hammer for sale
Heart	and the tiny heart sleeps again...forever	affection-giving kid	boy has affection again	old man	trading for transplant	affection for sale
HeartContainer	and the full heart sleeps again...forever	the life-giving kid	boy feels love again	lovable old man	fungus for life	love for sale
HeartContainerNoAnimation	and the full heart sleeps again...forever	the life-giving kid	boy feels love again	lovable old man	fungus for life	love for sale
Hookshot	and the tickle beam sleeps again...forever	tickle-monster kid	boy tickles again	grappled old man	witch and tickle boy	tickle beam for sale
IceRod	and the freeze ray sleeps again...forever	the ice-bending kid	boy freezes again	frozen old man	fungus for ice-rod	freeze ray for sale
Key	and the key sleeps again...forever	the key-holding kid	boy picks locks again	old man	keys, keys, keys	key for sale
L1Sword	the plastic sword sleeps again...forever	sword-wielding kid	boy fights again	fighting old man	fungus for slasher	sword for sale
L1SwordAndShield	the plastic sword sleeps again...forever	sword-wielding kid	boy fights again	fighting old man	fungus for slasher	sword for sale
L2Sword	and the master sword sleeps again...forever	sword-wielding kid	boy fights again	fighting old man	fungus for blue slasher	glow sword for sale
L3Sword	the tempered sword sleeps again...forever	sword-wielding kid	boy fights again	fighting old man	fungus for red slasher	flame sword for sale
L4Sword	and the butter sword sleeps again...forever	sword-wielding kid	boy fights again	fighting old man	cap churned to butter	butter for sale
Lamp	and the flashlight sleeps again...forever	light-shining kid	boy sees at night again	bright old man	fungus for illumination	flashlight for sale
MagicMirror	the face reflector sleeps again...forever	the narcissistic kid	boy sees himself again	the lost old man	trades looking-glass	your face for sale
Map	and the map sleeps again...forever	the cartographer kid	boy navigates again	old man	shrooms for navigation	world for sale
MasterSword	and the master sword sleeps again...forever	sword-wielding kid	boy fights again	fighting old man	fungus for blue slasher	glow sword for sale
MirrorShield	and the ditto shield sleeps again...forever	shield-wielding kid	boy defends again	old man	fungus for shiny shield	face shield for sale
MoonPearl	and the jaw breaker sleeps again...forever	fortune-telling kid	boy plays ball again	old man	shrooms for moon rock	lunar orb for sale
Mushroom	and the legal drug sleeps again...forever	the drug-dealing kid	boy sells drugs again	old man	my name is error	legal drugs for sale
Nothing	and nothing sleeps again...forever	nothing-having kid	boy does nothing again	old man	mushrooms go poof	nothing for sale
OcarinaActive	and the duck call sleeps again...forever	the duck-call kid	ocarina boy plays again	musical old man	duck-calls for trade	duck call for sale
OcarinaInactive	and the duck call sleeps again...forever	the duck-call kid	ocarina boy plays again	musical old man	duck-calls for trade	duck call for sale
OneHundredRupees	and the rupee stash sleeps again...forever	the kind-of-rich kid	boy goes drinking again	cashed old man	buying good drugs	fair trade for sale
OneRupee	the pocket change sleeps again...forever	poverty-struck kid	boy has lunch again	cashed old man	buying cheap drugs	life lesson for sale
PegasusBoots	and the sprint shoe sleeps again...forever	the running-man kid	boy runs again	the fast old man	shrooms for speed	sprint shoe for sale
PieceOfHeart	and the broken heart sleeps again...forever	the life-giving kid	boy feels love again	lovable old man	fungus for life	little love for sale
Powder	and the magic sack sleeps again...forever	the sack-holding kid	boy plays marbles again	the high old man	the witch and assistant	magic sack for sale
PowerGlove	and the grey mitten sleeps again...forever	body-building kid	boy lifts again	the buff old man	fungus for gloves	lift glove for sale
Quake	and the wavy coin sleeps again...forever	coin-collecting kid	boy hides coin again	medallic old man	shrooms for wavy-coin	wavy coin for sale
QuarterMagic	and the magic-saver sleeps again...forever	the magic-saving kid	boy saves magic again	magical old man	mekalekahi mekahiney ho	wizardry for sale
RedBoomerang	and the rebound rod sleeps again...forever	the bat-throwing kid	boy plays fetch again	aimless old man	fungus for return-stick	air foil for sale
RedClock	and the ruby clock sleeps again...forever	the ruby-time kid	boy travels time again	the late old man	shrooms for ruby time	red time for sale
RedMail	and the eggplant hat sleeps again...forever	well-protected kid	boy fears nothing again	the ruby old man	the nice clothing store	purple hat for sale
RedShield	near-useless shield sleeps again...forever	shield-wielding kid	boy defends again	old man	fungus for fire shield	fire shield for sale
Rupoor	and the toll-booth sleeps again...forever	the toll-booth kid	boy steals rupees again	the poor old man	witch stole your rupees	double loss for sale
Shovel	and the flute scoop sleeps again...forever	archaeologist kid	boy digs again	digging old man	can you dig it	dirt spade for sale
SilverArrowUpgrade	and the razor blade sleeps again...forever	arrow-sharpening kid	boy sharpens again	old man	arrow-honing service	sharp arrow for sale
SmallMagic	and the tiny pouch sleeps again...forever	magic-slinging kid	boy summons again	summoner old man	fungus for magic	alchemy for sale
TenArrows	the vampire skewers sleeps again...forever	stick-collecting kid	boy sews again	pointed old man	fungus for arrows	sewing kit for sale
TenBombs	the big explosion sleeps again...forever	the bomb-holding kid	boy explodes again	old man	blend fungus into bombs	boom boom for sale
ThreeBombs	and the explosion sleeps again...forever	the bomb-holding kid	boy explodes again	old man	blend fungus into bombs	fireworks for sale
ThreeHundredRupees	and the rupee hoard sleeps again...forever	the really-rich kid	boy is rich again	cashed old man	buying the best drugs	good for sale
TitansMitt	and the golden glove sleeps again...forever	body-building kid	boy has bling again	hulky old man	fungus for bling-gloves	carry glove for sale
TwentyRupees	and the couch cash sleeps again...forever	the piggy-bank kid	boy has lunch again	cashed old man	the witch buying drugs	life lesson for sale
TwentyRupees2	and the couch cash sleeps again...forever	the piggy-bank kid	boy has lunch again	cashed old man	the witch buying drugs	life lesson for sale